Sunday, February 10, 2008

Simplicity


You know how angst breeds art? Turns out contentment and peace breeds complacency, at least for me. I'm doing well, therefore I have felt less impetus to write. My running continues to go well, it is more interesting to write about struggles. But for those who keep clamoring that I need to update . . . here goes:

I'm on boot camp hiatus for February. I plan to attend when I can in March but for now Clint is in South Africa on an extended visit and I don't have childcare. Once he's back we will be sharing custody and I'll be able to go to boot camp on mornings Chase is with him. I've also been juggling a lot of other stuff (some challenging, like getting the house ready to sell, some fun like getting to know new friends better) so I must admit that my workout schedule last week was kind of pitiful. I need to find some good cardio to do in my living room, I'm getting really bored with jumping jacks! And I haven't managed to run during the week because I get home with Chase too late to have him go to a friend's house. I'll figure it out.

Two Saturdays ago (ok, it has been a while since I've updated!) the OBC ING training team dropped back to a 5 mile run after our 9 miler the week before. I had such a great run with the 9 miles that I expected the 5 to be easy but it was actually very challenging for some reason. I've really discovered that no matter how many variables I try to influence, some days my body wants to run and some days it doesn't, even when my mind thinks it does! That 5 mile run was like that, slow and heavy and painful. Despite that, yesterday's 10 mile run rocked! The first 8 miles I felt awesome, strong, sure of myself, breathing well. The last two miles got longer and longer but I knew all the way through that I'd get there. It was also a great run because I really circled all of midtown and downtown. I was born and grew up in Atlanta but I'm getting to know the city so much more intimately now, at street level. I was amazed at the number of buildings that I took a good look at yesterday realizing that for all the times I've driven by them I'd never noticed them before. We started on the GA tech campus, headed north, through Atlantic Station, across the 17th St. Bridge, all the way down Peachtree past Underground Atlanta, across on Mitchell, back up Spring past the GA Dome, through Centennial Park, back over to Marietta St. and all the way up back to the Tech Campus. When I was running north through Centennial Park I had a clear view of the Wachovia Building at Atlantic station, which I had run by earlier. It was amazing to have that sense of perspective, it seemed SO FAR away from Centennial Park.

The other thing that was amazing about this run was the solitude. Jojo couldn't run because she's nursing a sore knee. Instructor Michelle checked on me a few times during the first part but I spent 90% of the route by myself (don't worry I had my cell with me). That was two hours in my own head. I was in such a great space mentally that I actually really enjoyed it. I feel like I'm so ready for the challenges and the joy that I know are in my future. I feel more open to the future than I've ever been, and more comfortable with not knowing what it brings. I know that I am strong, I know that I will thrive even in the face of heartache. I know what happiness looks like and I know how to appreciate it, how to allow it to just BE with me. I've finally learned the value of being in the moment. The rhythm of my breathing, of my steps on the pavement, of my heartbeat has quieted my turmoil. I appreciate my lungs. My heart. My entire body has been taken for granted for too long, I'm so connected to my tissues and bones and muscles. Step by running step I am whittling away at the excess that has obscured me, physically, mentally, spiritually. I am me. Nothing more, nothing less. I am me and I run. It is good. And it really is that simple.

2 comments:

zandria said...

It's so good to know you're doing well. You're right -- when a person is content, sometimes that diminishes the amount they want to write!

Very impressed with all the running, by the way. :)

Erin said...

I read running blogs a lot for inspiration for the someday when I'll be able to run again.

This entry is one of the best I've ever read. I absolutely can't wait to get into shape to run now. Thank you so much.