Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The demise of novelty

Well, that point has come. I knew it would. Boot Camp and working out in general is no longer a novelty in my life. It's no longer my "latest project". My friends and family all know I'm doing it, they know what I've accomplished and they're not checking in with me anymore. They would always ask, with that particular expression that I'm sure was designed to reassure me that they totally understood and that they weren't judging me for quitting, "you're not still doing that bootcamp thing are you?" I REALLY enjoyed the looks of genuine shock and suprise that soon followed. Yes, those moments are few and far between now. For some acquaintances I almost get the sense that they are avoiding me, or at least avoiding bringing up boot camp. Because after all, if I am doing it, then truly just about anyone is capable. My successes can be challenging to people who thought they were like me. Either they were wrong and I'm actually a bit of a freak who must be relegated to "outlier" status or we are still a lot alike and they must question why they CHOOSE not to work out. I've been there, and avoidance was definitely one of MY favorite coping strategies! I must counter that with a big SHOUT OUT to my buddy Shane who HAS started working out again, she says that watching me has inspired her. Now I REALLY better keep it up! ;)

With the demise of novelty comes some waning motivation though. I LOVE new things just for the sake of their newness. I'm always taking on new projects and researching new topics just because. I got really into cross stitching for while. There are no less than 3 very ambitious unfinished cross stitching projects lying on the top shelf in my closet. One of them was supposed to have commemorated my son's birth. You know, the one who is SIX now? I would provide more examples but it kind of depresses me to think of all the unfinishedness in my life.

Now that I have met the challenge of bootcamp, and I haven't died, and I've made amazing improvements, I'm realizing that this isn't a project so much as a lifestyle. There isn't a finish line I can get to and declare myself officially "FIT" before I return to my late night couch potato ways. I must keep going, and going, and going . . .

I'm lost without finish lines. I like closure, its part of the reason I made my last career change from psychology to law. In law a court can at least give an illusion of closure in the form of a final order. So I must create my own finish lines. My next one is the Kids' Chance 5K on November 10. Kids' Chance is an organization founded by the Workers' Compensation Section of the Atlanta Bar Association. They raise money for college scholarships for the children of killed and catastrophically injured workers. My employer is a sponser. So, I know I can't slack on boot camp because November 10th is just around the corner. It totally feels like my last 5K was some sort of surreal dream, I still have a hard time believing that I did it so this next one still feels like a pipe dream, despite the hard evidence in my pocket. My extra challenge with this one will be running in front of my co-workers and not freaking out about it.

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